Kabelo & friends

The film we screened last night was amazing, just goes to show that we've come a long way since the 70's and 80's. Anyway, Monday's discussion topic is "Adoption of Children by Same-Sex Couples", and as usual - feel free to arrive from 4:45pm at CL 329 to help yourself to some tea and coffee. 

"Dear Friends

This is something I wrote when I was around 15 or so. I can't remember the exact sequence of events that led to the writing of this, but I do know that someone at school said something offensive to me. I went home that night, sat at my desktop and just began typing. This was the end result.

NB: Like I said, I wrote this when I was 15 and also quite angry at the time, so please excuse any juvenility or childishness.

MY HOMEGIRL Christina Aguilera said it succinctly in her song Can’t Hold Us Down: “You’re just a little boy/think you’re so cute so coy/You must talk so big to make up for smaller things/You’re just a little boy/All you do is annoy/You must talk so big to make up for smaller things”. She did it again in Still Dirrty, singing: “Don’t tell me to behave/Cause I’ll never play that game/Don’t tell me what to do/’Cause I’ll never be uptight like you/Don’t look at me that way/‘Cause I ain’t never gonna change/And if you’re talking about my life/You’re only wasting your own time.”

So basically what I’m saying to you straight little heifers is that y’all are cowards somewhat. You stand with your boys and shout things like “Sies!” whenever I’m in the vicinity and turn your heads the minute I do the same, trying to see who it is. The truth is, not a single one of you has the balls to come up to me alone and say those things to my face. What? Are you scared I might touch your azzy or something? Please. You’re not that cute. When I try to converse with some of you, my gestures are returned in the form of obscenities and, sometimes, just barefaced homophobia. Or should that be ignorance? When you guys are hungry and KB’s in the tuckshop line and everybody else is refusing to buy for you (or just ignoring you deliberately... in which case I wouldn’t be surprised), whom do y’all holler at? Exactly. I’ve noticed that the way you act towards me is determined by your circumstances. When you’re in need of something and I’m the only person available (or with the means) to give it to you, you forget that I’m gay and that you hate me (and those like me) so much. I’m the sort that dislikes pretentiousness, but I conceal my feelings, and only for the sake of world peace (an outburst of mine can measure up to 6.8 on the Richter scale). 

There is a (straight) guy among you who purports to be my friend, but his two-faced nature is more familiar with immature adolescent girls. He is good-humoured with me out of the public eye, and suddenly turns his back on me the moment he’s with his friends, and he gives me the I-don’t-want-them-to-start -calling-me-gay excuse. The only reason he does that is because he wants to be in the majority, and I’ve realised that being in the majority always gives one a sense of social validation. It’s a terribly disheartening phenomenon, but I suppose that’s whyit’s called social validation.

Last year, another guy told me that I’ll “be okay” if I just get myself “a real girlfriend”, to which I’ve replied, rather abruptly, “You’ll be even better if you get yourself a boyfriend and shut up!” I’ve been asked, “Why can’t you just be gay and not have to act like a girl?” Oh, please. If I acted like a boy, whatever the hell that means, it’s not as if you’d actually condone my lifestyle. Some of you reduce sexual orientation to something as plain as a 10-Step Programme, but I’ll be the first to tell you that it’s not that simple. 

Then there are the double standards you exercise. When two girls kiss, it’s the most erotic turn-on a man can have. When it’s two guys, suddenly it’s the worst sin fathomable. I overheard a guy saying that if any of his sons turned out to be gay, he’d ‘cure’ him by forcing him to watch lesbian pornography. Which I find stupid, of course, because if he’s not sexually aroused by one naked woman, just what will turn him on about two naked women fornicating with each other?
And don’t even get me started on the After Nines among you.

Clearly, you are immune to the fact that being gay is hard enough without having to bring religion into the equation. I am not very well acquainted with God, but I hold the opinion that He’d would prefer two men/women to love each other rather than to hate each other. As long as it is love being reciprocated, who really cares whether the attraction is sexual or not? 

I’m told I’m going to ‘burn in hell’ for my ‘practices’. Oh yes, of course. As if indulging in pre-marital sex, impregnating someone and then shirking your parental responsibilities will dispatch you straight to the Pearly Gates. I’m not a virgin either, but you’re the topic right now, not me. The Bible states that only God is fit to judge, but that is a part of God’s Word that many of you ‘Christians’ seem to forget. Since the days of Adam and Eve, people have being doing exactly what their hearts desire regardless of what God had said, so why does it matter so much that homosexuals exist and persist in their ways? People rewrite His word just to suit their arguments, it seems. I’m supposed to be getting the most support from reverends and pastors, but they’re the ones causing most of my torment (like Abraham Sibiya who writes regular religious columns for the newspaper "Sunday Sun"). So much for loving thy neighbour. 
People like him probably just shrug at things like paedophilia and incest. 

May I suggest (like anyone’s gonna stop me) that you’d better come up with something more legitimate than your own heterosexuality if you’d like to advertise your own ‘morality’. My homosexuality was a blessing (yes, a blessing) bestowed upon me with no effort on my part whatsoever, and is something that is so woven into the very anchorage of my being that nothing could ever change it.

What I don’t get is that there is nothing to gain out of hating gays, yet you continue to do so nonetheless. I mean, why does anyone even bother? Are your lives truly that boring? I would understand your reactions if I was going around making brash and overt sexual advances on you or something to that effect, but I’m not. It’s not like someone is paying you handsomely to be bigoted, narrow-minded homophobes, but then again some of y’all look like you need the cash, mind. I am aware that you feel you need to protect your masculinity (for lack of better phrasing), but is it truly necessary to go to such extremes? Hating me and calling me names might make you feel like more of a man, but the truth is that you’re not insulting, wounding or slighting me by doing so; you’re just showing your own lack of upbringing.

Fact: your girlfriends adore me. They come to me when they need advice concerning things like fashion, make-up tips, music and relationships (e.g. when you cheat on her, etc.), all of which adds a definite element of truth to the dictum, “A girl’s best friend is a gay man.” And I love the disgust on your faces when you see that I look better in tight jeans than she does. She goes crazy when I emulate Beyoncé’s booty-hop. The only reason you laugh when I do it is because, nine times out of ten, I do it better than your girlfriend and, sometimes, even Beyoncé herself. 

Now, don’t get me wrong: I’m not crying out for your attention or for you to accept me (my parents do, and that’s quite enough thank you), and neither do I hold a grudge against you (because there are more important things that need to be worried about in my life... like what colour my wedding dress will be, etc.). I just felt that I needed to point out the obvious, which is something you do a mighty good job of being oblivious about. 

Yours with love,

Kabelo

And one more thing... If I really am going to Hell, chances are I might see your face there. I’ll be standing next to the braai stand, waiting to fry your ass. If you don’t recognise me, I’ll be the toned, topless one in the red latex booty shorts, black knee-length stiletto boots and bling à la J. Lo. I’ll also be brandishing a sterling silver pitchfork, just in case you try something funny."